How do I juggle expenses,
How do I tackle debt,
Will I ever leave the trenches,
Is this my fate to accept,
Can never be me,
Was born to be free,
Can’t live life on knee,
Boundless L’s in this spree,
Need to escape,
Need less self-hate,
Less mental debate,
Less stress,
Working to figure things out,
Working to find a way out,
Working to end the drought,
Hoping to finally sprout.
Lost, oh how it feels,
To wander aimlessly,
No direction or purpose,
No place that feels like home.
Lost, it’s a lonely place,
A feeling of despair,
No sense of belonging,
No one to turn to or share.
Lost, it’s a state of mind,
A feeling of confusion,
A lack of clarity,
A lack of resolution.
But lost, it’s not forever,
For there is always a way,
To find your way back,
From the path that leads you astray.
So if you’re feeling lost,
Take a deep breath and hold on tight,
For the journey to finding yourself,
Is a journey worth the fight.
Waves,
Sand on her skin,
As I’m gripping on her,
Waist,
Waves,
We groove through the motion,
Emotion,
I’m just a victim of my,
Ways,
Waves,
I’m sipping,
She’s my potion,
Deep in ocean,
As she,
Lays,
Waves,
Spend hours with her,
Feeling un-,
Phased.
Waves…
I can’t stop checking my phone,
Any plans? Don’t wanna stay home,
Smoking all this weed to stay in zone,
Loving on her so that I don’t feel alone,
Why can’t I be happy by myself?
Why can’t I be happy with myself?
Can’t stay in my own head for a few,
Only think of hating myself what’s new?
All the promises to myself I don’t keep,
To family and friends part of the heap,
Feel like a complete fuck up,
Losing the race in the last lap,
All this stress I end up escaping,
Said last time was last for coping,
No more drugs I was hoping,
Will I ever be stopping?
I can’t stop checking my phone,
Any plans? Don’t wanna stay home,
Smoking all this weed to stay in zone,
Loving on her so that I don’t feel alone.
I need a break from my own head,
Feel at times better off dead,
Love vs fear lingering on dread,
Nothing to do but chase this bread,
Mistakes making it hard to forgive myself,
Replaying everything wrong is a living hell,
Insecure human living with a bravery shell,
Working so hard to escape this mental cell,
Pressure from society to make it,
Seen so many tempted to fake it,
So many compromise and take shit,
Many includes me in this empty pit,
Always been the kid with dreams,
Nothing out of reach so it seems,
Scary at times causing screams,
Peers doing better than me themes,
I need a break from my own head,
Feel at times better off dead,
Love vs fear lingering on dread,
Nothing to do but chase this bread.
C.Rotich 